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Il cohousing è partecipato: parte il progetto 'Un Monte[d'e]spertoli x Co-abitare' - gonews

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La Nazione

Il cohousing è partecipato: parte il progetto 'Un Monte[d'e]spertoli x Co-abitare'
Si chiama Un Monte[d'e]spertoli x Co-abitare ed è il Progetto di Partecipazione pubblica promosso da Comune di Montespertoli in collaborazione con Associazione Cohousing in Toscana, finanziato dall'Autorità regionale per la partecipazione e patrocinato ...
Cohousing, ritorno alla mezzadria. Abitare i casali: il risparmio è 'verde'La Nazione

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Cohousing, ritorno alla mezzadria. Abitare i casali: il risparmio è 'verde' - La Nazione

Cohousing News from Google -

La Nazione

Cohousing, ritorno alla mezzadria. Abitare i casali: il risparmio è 'verde'
La Nazione
Il progetto è stato presentato ieri alla sede dell'Unione dei Comuni a Empoli dal sindaco e dall'assessore alle politiche partecipative di Montespertoli, Giulio Mangani e Cinzia Farina, dalla vicepresidente dell'associazione Cohousing in Toscana, Dina ...

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No Regrets

Laird's Blog -

I've just returned from a whirlwind four days in North Carolina, where I attended the National Cohousing Conference (in Durham) and got a sneak preview of Joe & Maria's third floor apartment in Chapel Hill, where I will be moving in a week. I'm excited.

After half a year of trying to figure out how to cope with a series of curve balls (first lingering back pain, then my wife's decision to divorce me, followed in short order by costochondritis and the realization that I needed to start looking for a new home), it felt good to be proactive—to be taking a positive step instead just trying to stay afloat emotionally in storm-tossed seas.

I'm going to try building a micro-community with my housemates (both community veterans) and see what comes of it. I don't have a timetable; I just have curiosity and a clear sense of what it means to be in close connection with people—a fundamental building block of resilient community.

The three of us—Joe, Maria, and I—had fun together delivering two pre-conference workshops in Durham. One on Facilitation & Leadership; and another on Conflict. It was an auspicious start. If we can generate enough interest in the Southeast, Maria & I will conduct a two-year facilitation training there.

As I type this, I am back in Missouri for a one more week, to select a carload of clothes, books, paperwork, tools, and stuffed animals to bring with me to North Carolina, and to place the remainder of my stuff into storage so that Ma'ikwe can rent out a room in Moon Lodge.

While I'm still somewhat shaky from all the recent, unexpected changes in my life, it's now been almost four months since I've been served notice that my marriage was over, and the amplitude and frequency of my grieving is tapering off. Incidences of anger and/or shame have both decreased substantially, and I'm starting to imagine a positive life ahead. While it's far more conjectural than substantive at this point, it's nonetheless a start.

While there remain parts of what happened to my marriage that I still don't understand (and perhaps never will), I'm happy to report that I look back on my last 10 years with Ma'ikwe with no regrets. While it was devastating to have her walk away (I had never invested more heavily in a relationship than I did in my marriage, and it's been excruciating to see that founder), it wasn't like I wasn't trying, nor do look back over the last decade and wish I'd held anything back.

In the end, whenever you commit to creating something with another, the only thing you get is the opportunity for relationship—there's never a guarantee that it will last or go the way you're hoping. What's more, you have to commit to the attempt before you know the outcome (and there's a non-trivial risk of the attempt failing if you decide to hold something back as a reserve against things going poorly—this can be a tricky calculation).

In my marriage, I was all in, and even though it ultimately failed, I'm glad that I made that choice. Not because I enjoy misery, but because it would be awful to be wracked with doubt about whether the outcome would have been different if I'd only committed all that I had. This does not mean that I didn't make mistakes, or have no thoughts about what I might have done better; only that I have the satisfaction of knowing that I was trying as hard as I knew to be forthcoming and constructive, moment to moment.

Further, I'm far enough removed from the initial pain to begin to see how this experience may make me a better facilitator, as there will undoubtedly be times ahead when someone will be struggling as a result of having been unilaterally cut off from relationship, and I'll now have something parallel to draw from in empathy.

Today—at a deeper level than I ever imagined—I get the power of the old adage:

It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

Breathe Easy: Keeping Indoor Air Fresh and Clean - Triple Pundit (registration) (blog)

Cohousing News from Google -

Triple Pundit (registration) (blog)

Breathe Easy: Keeping Indoor Air Fresh and Clean
Triple Pundit (registration) (blog)
Her experience includes work with small-scale solar energy installations and utility-scale wind farms. She earned an MBA in sustainable management from the Presidio Graduate School and she resides in Belfast Cohousing & Ecovillage in Midcoast Maine ...

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Collateral Healing

Laird's Blog -

I was working with a group recently where I was demonstrating how to work with conflict by facilitating the examination of a stuck dynamic between two members (who had volunteered for that purpose). I did this as a fishbowl, where the two protagonists and I pulled chairs into the middle and everyone else sat around in the outer circle observing.

Afterwards, I asked the outer circle (who were not allowed to speak while the demo was in progress) for their reflections. One of the more interesting ones was from a member who observed that many others in the group had either been directly impacted by the unresolved tension between the two in the middle, or otherwise were a player in a parallel tension where it was easy to see something of themselves in what they had just witnessed (there but for the grace of God go I).

The commentator spoke of there being many in the room who had suffered collateral damage as a consequence of the blocked energy between the fishbowl participants. The upside of that was that those same people experienced considerable release by virtue of seeing the energy flowing again between the protagonists, which phenomenon I dubbed "collateral healing," the focus of this essay.

Often enough, people in tension prefer that attempts to address it happen in a controlled environment—by which I mean as few variables (and witnesses) as possible. This is both a function of finding it awkward speaking in front of large numbers, and some degree of embarrassment about how many know the full details of how they behaved. What people often fail to take into account is the way others can be touched positively by their example of walking through the fire to get to the other side.

To be clear, the prime directive when working tension is to give the players whatever you reasonably can, to help them feel safe. Thus, I do not advocate cajoling anyone into working through conflict in plenary if it scares them to death. Rather, I'm asking both individuals and groups to reflect on the collateral good that can come from making that choice when people are willing.

I feel the same way about that as I do about transparency: take it as far as you can stand—all the while recognizing that there are circumstances under which people can't stand very much.

While working out conflict privately (or with the help of a third party) still counts, it is all together a different experience for the group if they witness the relationship damage being repaired, or they hear a report about it. The former becomes a collective memory that is bonding not just for the protagonists, but also for the witnesses with the protagonists. The latter is just a data point.

To be sure, doing this kind of work at all takes courage, and that's doubly so when attempted in group. After all, focusing on conflict does not guarantee a happy ending. Thus, if it blows up—which it sometimes does—there is the risk of spectacular failure. That said, the reverse is also true. Almost nothing has the same potential to heal damage like working conflict successfully to resolution in the group. While I think there needs to be sensitivity about how far people can reasonably be asked to stretch, do not lose sight of the sweet promise of collateral healing.

Aging doesn't always come naturally. Classes are teaching boomers how. - Washington Post

Cohousing News from Google -

Aging doesn't always come naturally. Classes are teaching boomers how.
Washington Post
Ann Zabaldo guided her graying students through the steps they'd need to take to reimagine the rest of their lives in the communal existence that has come to be known as cohousing. “Nobody is ever going to care for you the way people who know you are ...

Casa, “cohousing” per ripensare modello abitativo giovani coppie e anziani - Umbria Journal il sito degli umbri

Cohousing News from Google -

Umbria Journal il sito degli umbri

Casa, “cohousing” per ripensare modello abitativo giovani coppie e anziani
Umbria Journal il sito degli umbri
PERUGIA – La Regione Umbria ha iniziato una riflessione sul “cohousing” (coabitazione), la speciale forma di “vicinato” che prevede condivisione di spazi, servizi e responsabilità, come nuovo modello abitativo e quale possibilità di far fronte ai nuovi ...

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From 130 Carbrier to 130 Hunt

Laird's Blog -

As most readers of this blog know, I'm a moving target. I'm on the road about half the time—both as a process consultant and as FIC's main administrator—and I'm typing this from Carolyn Kroll's dining room table at Durham Central Park (DCP), where I have just arrived and am being graciously hosted for the National Cohousing Conference this weekend. In fact, I can see the downtown Marriott where the event will take place just by looking out the window to my right. I'll easily be able to walk to the venue from here.

It's taken me two-and-a-half days to get here from Rutledge, driving solo in a rental car that was packed to the gills with boxes of books (this weekend, FIC is operating the conference bookstore both for the cohousing event in Durham, and for the Building the New World Conference happening concurrently on the Radford University campus in Radford VA (which will be staffed by long-time FIC Board member Marty Klaif).

I had spent last night at Shannon Farm—where I'd stopped both to break up the drive and to hand off several boxes of books to Marty—and was the house guest of dear friends, Jenny Upton & Dan Questenberry. Getting in the car this morning, I noticed their beautiful handcrafted sign (constructed in colorful mosaic tiles) at the edge of Dan & Jenny's walkway and right in front of my windshield, proclaiming their address "130 Catbrier Circle." With a rush of realization, laughed. I was about to drive south for three-plus hours down to the Tarheel State, only to arrive at DCP, located at 130 Hunt St in downtown Durham. How unlikely was that? (I checked my rolodex and these two are the only addresses out of 756 that have 130 as their street number.) Pretty weird.

Maybe I should buy lottery tickets featuring the numbers 1, 3, and 0.

By the Numbers
To be clear, I'm not a superstitious guy (I didn't, for example, count to see if it took me 130 steps to get from my car to the door of Carolyn's apartment), but I do like to play with numbers (almost as much as I enjoy playing with words). Though I noticed that these identical addresses start with thirteen, I am not triskaidekaphobic. 

The upcoming event will be my ninth consecutive national cohousing conference (I haven't missed any this century). It will be one of seven community events that FIC will sponsor this year. Here are the other six, in chronological order:

The Farm Communities Conference, May22-24, Summertown TN
Building the New World Conference, May 28-31, Radford VA
Twin Oaks Communities Conference, Sept 4-7, Louisa VA
Power of Community Conference, Sept 25-27, Yellow Springs OH
West Coast Communities Conference, Oct 9-12, Yorkville CA
NASCO Institute, Oct 30-Nov 1, Ann Arbor MI

I figure it's going to be an eventful year, no matter what your favorite number is.

Daybook - News & Observer

Cohousing News from Google -

News & Observer
The Religious Coalition for a Nonviolent Durham's Community Luncheon Roundtable will be from noon to 1 p.m. in the fellowship hall of Shepherd's House United Methodist Church, 107 N. Driver St. Enter in the back of the building, near the playground.

For senior homebuyers, golden years offer freedom and choice - Chicago Daily Herald

Cohousing News from Google -

Chicago Daily Herald

For senior homebuyers, golden years offer freedom and choice
Chicago Daily Herald
But navigating the market and the bevy of available choices -- including home sharing, cohousing, niche communities, multigenerational housing and village models -- can be overwhelming. "There are many, many options," said Jennifer Prell, founder of ...


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