Conflict Resolution

One of cohousing’s great strengths is the assumption that members can work out their conflicts. Most cohousing communities use consensus decision-making, which tends to satisfy most residents and give them a sense of participation on challenging issues. Some communities convene a conflict-resolution team when a particularly hot issue arises. Also, through this website and the Cohousing listserve, communities share information about proven techniques for resolving conflict. Finally, if the situation warrants it, a community may call in an outside professional to facilitate the process.

Joanie Connors, Ph.D.

People who work in group settings often encounter difficult personalities who paralyze and frustrate group discussions. The most common dysfunctional roles found include the Monopolizer, the Just Plain Difficult Person, the Drama Queen or King, the Narcissistic-Opinionater, the Critic, the Outsider, the Problem Avoider, the Worrier, the Help Rejecting Complainer and the Uninvolved One. This session will describe these dysfunctional member roles and strategies for dealing with them. Participants will learn how to: shift the dynamics, make the covert overt, add structure and tailor responses to specific personality types.

In principle, the chances of making good group decisions are greatly increased if all the participants believe there is good in everyone. We are more likely to do well if we look for the best in each other. For some, believing that there is good in every person is a moral conviction. For others, seeking and bringing out the best in people is just plain practical.

Practical Tip: Act as if there is good in everyone, even when it is not apparent. Treat every person along your path as if they are special. If you believe in God, act as if there is that of God in every person.