Charles B. Maclean, Ph.D., Trillium Hollow, Portland, Oregon

Giving neighborly support has often been easier for me than receiving it. A near-death car accident a few years ago followed by extensive shoulder surgery changed my perspective in a heartbeat.

For the first time since childhood, I couldn’t put on my socks, scratch my nose, or use my right hand to eat. I mentioned to my young neighbors, Lily and Emanuel, that I couldn’t even shampoo my hair. Spontaneously, they shouted, “Don’t worry, Charles, we’ll shampoo your hair for you!”

Everyone has favorite things about cohousing neighborhoods, and from time to time, lists are compiled that summarize the benefits. Rob Sandelin’s list below may have been first, but many others followed.

Terri Hupfer of Pleasant Hill Cohousing likes the support and friendship of neighbors the best. “You get to relax and read a book for an hour while your neighbor takes all the boys on a long bike ride,” she lists. “Your neighbor not only comes over to help you clean and cook the fresh trout your son has brought home, but he helps pull out the bones and sits down to eat it with you.”

Joani Blank of Swan’s Market Cohousing asks, “Where else could I get someone to take a splinter out of my finger at 7:30 in the morning?” Joani also writes, “No more special trips all the way home for five minutes just to feed the dog!”

—D. L. W.

Rob Sandelin, Sharingwood, Snohomish, Washington

I was hunkered down underneath my car doing something oily and I could see down the street as one of my neighbors, Michelle, was trying to set out some metal light fixtures to spray paint. Every time she lined them up, her toddler would carry one off or otherwise disrupt the process. I was sort of tied up working on the car, so I couldn’t help her, but I didn’t need to. Rosemary, another neighbor, walked up to the toddler with a couple of little baskets and took her hand and diverted her into picking berries, while the mom gratefully arranged the lights and painted them without further interruption.

The thing that I did not realize until later reflection is that Michelle never had to ask for help. Her neighbors saw her needs and helped her in the sort of quiet, unspoken way that communities work.