In principle, it is love that truly changes hearts and transforms people, not power or rules. It is love that compels sustained changes in behavior, not oaths or doctrines. It is love that provides a willingness to give; and it is love that helps us accept, let go, and find peace.
Most group decision making models encourage that we not include love in the mix. We are supposed to be objective, rational, and unemotional. This works well on the field of battle when the goal is to beat the other guys, but it does not work well when we are trying to find win-win, peaceful solutions. Peace asks us to love our neighbors.

In principle, values are those things most important to us; the things we value. For most people, they are ideals, beliefs, rules to live by. We are generally drawn to be with people who share our values. At the core of every defined group of people are shared values.
Practical Tip: Discuss values as a group and make a written, short, agreed-to list of the values you have in common. Simply having a discussion about values helps a group to understand each other. Deciding which values you share defines your group and helps people decide to join the group. It also helps people to leave when they are not a good fit. A written list of shared values also serves as a “code of ethics,” a place to turn for guidance when the decision making gets tough.
Shared values are the steadfast ground on which we stand when things are in turmoil. Shared values guide and hold us together.

In principle, when making good group decisions we try to get all the facts and fully understand before deciding. But it is impossible to understand every detail, every nuance, every possibility, and that's where trust takes over. We work to
understand as much as we can, but at some point we just need to trust our intuition, other people, and/or the process.

For the rational person, the path to truth is paved mostly with understanding, with a bit of trust at the end. For the intuitive person, the path to truth begins with a bit of understanding and then trust paves most of the way. For all of us, truly good decisions require some combination of understanding and trust.

In principle, the value of written words is that they can be seen by several people simultaneously, and over time. Further, the process of choosing words helps us be sure we understand. Writing and agreeing on words together breeds shared understanding. Without a written record to underpin the understanding or agreement, you can count on ever changing
accounts of what happened.

Practical Tip: When making good group decisions, have large paper on hand for all to see, or a computer screen projected on the wall. The paper or screen serves as a blank canvas for shared creation. To check for shared understanding or agreement, take your best shot at the right words and write them for all to see. Discuss the words and change the words until there is general agreement that they reflect the sense of the group. Writing and agreeing on words is harder than nodding heads to spoken comments, but it saves time and conflict over the long run.