Conflict Resolution

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A woman in the sociocracy discussion group at the cohousing conference asked about people who join being able to change policies. The group has a pet policy but the new person wants it changed. My response was that policies are always open for reconsideration. The answer was too short and I’m...
Views since 5/2014: 2,177
Personally I object to the use of the word "block" as synonymous with "objection" and this entry explains some of the reasons why. What is a block? This is not a facetious question. If this is the word people want to use, what does it mean? From the accounts on the Cohousing-L email discussion...
Views since 5/2014: 4,584
One of the ways the principles and methods used by sociocracy speed up decision-making is going directly to objections instead of discussing the proposal. The proposal should state the perceived advantages or reasons why a decision is needed. The presenters will also have presented the issues and...
Views since 5/2014: 7,580
Question: We are 3 months into starting a co-housing community in western MA. We will soon be discussing how we will make group decisions. I don't think we have to reinvent the wheel on this one. Consensus and sociocracy seem to be common strategies. Which do you recommend? Sociocracy and...
Views since 5/2014: 10,747
"It is a strategy I think a community could use to jump start their program, and then talk about how to reduce the centralization after a year or more of successful meals. Since we have quite slowly added new households it is quite clear that our successful meals program is what has helped get more...
Views since 5/2014: 4,676
Architectural review policies are generally hard to write, partly because we have very different housing experiences when we move into cohousing and partly because we don't know how to talk about architecture or colors.. The process touches on understanding how to live in a jointly owned or managed...
Views since 5/2014: 4,310
In principle, we know we are prone to make mistakes; it is part of being human. And we know that mistakes are our best teachers. Learning from small mistakes prevents big mistakes later. Yet we are prone to cover up our mistakes especially in our groups and make a mess of things. Good group...
Views since 5/2014: 2,681
In principle, most conflicts are because of mismatched expectations. Where the expectations are really different the conflict can be really big. No one likes disappointment: when you think something is going to be one way, and then it changes. The best prevention is a shared expectation of how...
Views since 5/2014: 3,160
In principle, when we look at people in certain ways, place labels on them, or “put them in boxes,” it limits what they have to offer. It is especially tempting to “contain” those who disagree with us. We are tempted to ignore our adversaries, work around them, wall them off, shut them down. These...
Views since 5/2014: 3,956
In principle, when we have expectations of others that don't pan out it often leads to resentment, which often leads to brewing discontent or bubbling-over conflict. I have heard, “expectations are planned resentments.” The surest way to avoid resentment is to not have expectations. When I fall...
Views since 5/2014: 2,445

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