When PDX Commons, the senior cohousing community in Portland OR, opened almost nine years ago, the average age of our residents was about 65. Now it’s close to 75. Nine years ago, none of us was using a walker. Currently, four people are. Clearly, our abilities and capacities are ever so gradually ebbing. Community members are feeling their aging and thinking more about what it means for the future.

Two years ago, our Aging in Community Committee started contemplating a buddy system whereby each Commoner would pair up with one or two others who would be their “go-to” people in case of an urgent need for assistance. We were inspired by a similar program already in place at Elderspirit [elderspirit.org] in Abingdon, Virginia. Under their Mutual Support System, the community asks each member to find two other people to serve as their “neighborly support coordinators.”

In the event of a medical or other emergency, these “buddies” make sure 911 is called; they contact the member’s family, and they see that arrangements are made for any necessary follow-up care and services. Some support may be provided by other community members on a voluntary (and usually temporary) basis. This depends on what the member has previously specified they would want or need following an emergency. In some cases, the family may be able to step in and arrange care or services.

Using Elderspirit as a model, our PAL (short for PDX Commons Advocacy Liaison) Program was born. It has taken the Aging in Community Committee two years of effort and legwork to shepherd the program from idea to approval and implementation. Following is a summary of how we got there.

Taking it to the community

When we first presented the idea for this program to the community, we were a bit surprised that there was some pushback. Some members felt they didn’t need that kind of support, especially those living with partners. Others were concerned about privacy, worried that the community might find out details of their personal affairs that they didn’t want to share. We knew we needed to face these anxieties and find ways to convince reluctant members of the benefits of the program.

We started by clarifying that participating in the program would be highly encouraged but voluntary — no one would be forced to have a PAL. From there, we spent many months refining what the program would look like and how it would work. We brought it back to the community in monthly business meetings three times, gathering feedback and making further changes. Finally, last October, the community approved the program as part of our Long-Term Care Procedure.

Both the Long-Term Care Procedure and the PAL Program stipulate that the community may provide social support (such as check-ins and help getting to meals) but cannot provide long-term care (such as help with activities of daily living). The procedure also emphasizes that a member’s personal information will remain confidential and be shared only to the extent the member wishes.

Where we go from here

After community approval, the PAL Program was ready for implementation. The committee has taken several steps to move it forward. We:

• Created a survey for members to tell us whether they want a PAL and/or are willing to be one for someone else.
• Posted a list of people willing to be a PAL in our office for the convenience of members wanting to choose one.
• Asked members to update their emergency contact forms and facilitated that process.
• Created a list of questions a PAL and their “PAL-ee” might go over in their first meeting.
• Presented a role play of a first meeting between the partners.

Surprisingly, the survey told us that many community members had already chosen a PAL and/or agreed to be a PAL for someone else. (The relationship does not need to be reciprocal, but it can be if both partners agree.) Future plans include offering training to support the program and address issues that might come up.

Needless to say, the Aging in Community Committee is delighted that PDX Commoners have come around and our hard work has paid off. The program will benefit not just those who need support but the whole community as well. Members can find out who the point person(s) is/are for specific residents so they can go to them with any concerns about a member’s wellbeing. In turn, the community will receive updates on a member’s status when appropriate, based on what the member is willing to share. It’s a win-win all around!

Upcoming events

April 10 — The Commons, a free monthly gathering for the cohousing curious and experts, too; 10 a.m. MDT; repeats on the 10^th of each month; register here. 

April 20 — Seniors in Cohousing Q&A, an informal facilitated conversation for those who are interested in senior cohousing and/or senior living in intergenerational cohousing; 10 a.m. MDT; repeats on the 20^th of each month; register here. Once registered, you’ll receive an email before the meeting with a link to join the call on Zoom.

May 2–3 — National Cohousing Open House Weekend, an annual event when many communities host tours and welcome visitors. Look for events on CohoUS’s Community Calendar, especially closer to the open house weekend.

May 16 — The Cohousing Summit: Seattle, plus local community tours May 14–17. Find out more and register here. 

CohoUS offers many live and on-demand courses on a wide range of topic related to cohousing. Peruse them here.

The Foundation for Intentional Community (FIC) also offers a range of live, on-demand and rerun online courses. Check out some interesting live courses coming up in 2026.

Find out about becoming a CohoUS member here. 

See the CohoUs mission and vision statement here.