Tag: Relationships


The Cost of Self Defense

The concept of self defense is embedded in our legal system, tucked into our expectations and folded, perhaps unexamined, into our values. Self defense is the idea that when our intention is to protect self or others, we are absolved from responsibility when our impact is harm.  If someone is killed, it is self defense... Read More

Building Trust – Part 4

Trust through Conflict Trust comes in many forms and layers. Some trust is about believing someone will do the thing they said they would do. Sometimes trust is about believing they will behave toward me in a certain way – perhaps with kindness or generosity. Sometimes we event find stability in trusting that a person... Read More

Building Trust, Part 3

Trust Through Crisis Everyone’s least favorite way to build trust in a group is a shared experience of crisis, which doesn’t stop it from being highly effective.  The classic case is surviving a natural disaster together. Total strangers grab on to each other in a storm, survive the night, and by morning are friends for... Read More

Building Trust, Part 2

Intentional Trust While building trust through everyday habits is effective, it takes time. Many communities want ways to build trust faster. I don’t believe anything can replace the small stuff, but I do think you can accelerate the process with intentional practices designed for trust building.  These intentional practices range from full weekend retreats to... Read More

Building Trust, Part 1

How do we build trust?  It’s a common question, both from communities experiencing a lack of trust (which often appears as conflict) and from forming communities wishing to foster trust.  I often tell my client communities that trust (and mis-trust) is built in 1000 small moments and a couple of big ones. Or to say... Read More

Diversity and Dreams

Watching “Strategies and Perspectives for Anti-oppression in Cohousing” with Crystal Byrd Farmer, Sky Blue, Elliot Cisneros, and Mathilde Berthe from the recent Connecting in Cohousing conference I got to thinking about the way we build communities and our struggle to make them diverse. While I’ve been aware of many factors in the struggle for some... Read More

WebChat #24 Cohousing Design

Chuck Durrett, who along with Katie McCamant, brought cohousing to the US, joined us for a WebChat on cohousing design and the process he uses to design a community. The theme of the evening was “If it doesn’t work socially, why bother?” Chuck began by sharing his earliest awareness of cohousing, as a young architect... Read More

WebChat #18 Conflict:Interpersonal or Systemic

Liz Magill offered our 18th WebChat with advice for community support teams who help community members work with conflict. She started off with a list of 8 questions she recommends support teams ask themselves when they receive a request: 1. Is this conflict covered in the committee mandate? 2. Is it an individual or community... Read More

Gainesville Cohousing Breaks Ground – First in Florida

Congrats to Gainesville Cohousing, breaking ground on a community five years in the making. Great publicity received! Click here to see local ABC news affiliate video. GAINESVILLE, Fla – A co-housing community in Gainesville broke ground Friday afternoon, and neighbors are one step closer to moving in. Gainesville Cohousing is a 24 home, $5 million... Read More

Social Permaculture: Applying the Principles

Social Permaculture, Public vs Private is the theme of the winter issue of Communities Magazine, exploring among other issues how “relationships with one another are just as sustainable, regenerative, and resilient as the ecological elements in a land-based permaculture system.” Click here for this article profiling how permaculture’s principles apply to human groups. And come...