Conflict Resolution

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So imagine this, you’ve had a meeting of your community, forming or formed, and you could hear some tension in the discussion. Roberto was really not happy with the discussion. At process check-in the facilitator asked if he was upset and he said he was fine, he just needed time to mull over...
Views since 5/2014: 278
In community, and in life, there are many personality types and many ways for those personalities to clash despite everyone’s best intentions to get along. There is a framework from the theory of Imago Relationships that distills this down into two general patterns. I find it useful for...
Views since 5/2014: 252
Why can't we all just get along? Some percentage of people who join a cohousing community do so because they want everyone to "just get along". Idyllic images of not just knowing your neighbors, but also of really liking to hang out with your neighbors flutter through our heads. And then we...
Views since 5/2014: 606
What shall we discuss as we are forming our communities? Every forming community (I hope!) asks this question and communities that have already moved in give lots of different answers. Many of those answers are in the form of "I wish we'd resolved this" and "we decided x which was irrelevant and...
Views since 5/2014: 1,403
Why is connection so elusive? How can something so universally desired be so difficult to attain in a richly resourced culture like the United States? Especially, how can it be difficult among members of an intentional cohousing community? I believe there are two elements essential for...
Views since 5/2014: 1,884
Several years ago there was a post on Cohousing-L related to the community's legal documents that were written in "legalese." I had recently researched Plain English for Lawyers for a neighbor. She was a single parent trying to set up legal guardianship and financial oversight for her daughter in...
Views since 5/2014: 1,908
As a professional consultant in group dynamics I rarely get asked to work with a group when everything is going fine. Usually they're leaking oil, have a busted leaf spring, or can't seem to shift into third gear—and are hoping for inexpensive repairs from me, the itinerant shade tree mechanic....
Views since 5/2014: 2,471
Read Alan's first blog on this topic Do you proactively de-escalate ‘diverse’ personalities in your life? I’m facilitating a retreat later this fall about dealing with diverse personalities in Arcosanti, AZ. I’ve been asked by a few people about what the “strength-based” approach I’ll be using...
Views since 5/2014: 3,656
Read Alan's first two blog on this topic Do you proactively de-escalate ‘diverse’ personalities in your life? and Dealing with diverse personalities: Risk vs Protective Factors - Part II Remember the climax of the “Wizard of Oz” when Dorothy gets herself back to Kansas? Good Witch of the North...
Views since 5/2014: 1,882
I thought a question on the cohousing email list what causes conflict in cohousing was an interesting one. There was an element of surprise in the question. Do you allow conflict? Sometimes we paint ourselves to potential new members as rainbows and candy. The usual suspects that cause conflict...
Views since 5/2014: 6,906

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