Trust through Conflict Trust comes in many forms and layers. Some trust is about believing someone will do the thing they said they would do. Sometimes trust is about believing they will behave toward me in a certain way – perhaps with kindness or generosity. Sometimes we event find stability in trusting that a person... Read More

As cohousers we generally believe in the principle that everyone gets a voice. We think of ourselves as taking all views into account and welcoming differences of opinions.  But what about when we don’t? What do you do if someone has more to say after others in the community are past tired of hearing it?... Read More

98% of cohousers are lovely, well intentioned people we can all get along with, says Diana Leafe Christian in her recent WebChat. But what about the other 2%? What about people who are consistently difficult, who seem to lack a capacity for empathy and care only about themselves. How does community work with them and... Read More

Joe Cole’s recent WebChat focused on the challenges in community and the potential they provide for growth and transformation.  Living in community may be the hardest thing we ever do, and also the most rewarding.   The cultural infrastructure of a community guides the transformation from competitive culture to cooperative culture and determines the types of... Read More

Karen Gimnig was with us for a WebChat last week with a new look at conflict in community and in life.  While conflict is not always welcome and rarely easy, she suggested that we can embrace conflict as an opportunity to grow.  Conflict arises when something in us that is ready to grow, or finish... Read

[This is a repost from Craig’s blog on Good Group Decisions Inc. Craig also offers a Make Shift Coffee House: a forum he designed to help people understand each other. If any cohousing community would like to host such a forum, he will facilitate it for free! Contact Craig here.] In principle, when people in... Read More

Everyone has one. It doesn’t matter what your gender is, or your ethnicity. Whether you are young, old, tall, short, liberal, conservative, gregarious or introverted, you have one, and so does every other person on the planet. What is it? A personality. Some people even have multiple personalities, and we all know that we act... Read More

For many years I have offered an introductory workshop on conflict entitled, “Conflict: Fight, Flight, or Opportunity?” In it, I explain that many people engage conflict with a flight or flight response and that there are better choices. However, even if I can sell you on the idea that working constructively with conflict is possible,... Read More

[Philip Dowds is responding to an coho-l inquiry: while we often discuss the mechanics of creating and maintaining cohousing, what we don’t see as often are discussions about such things as kindness or civility within communities.] Cornerstone Cohousing has been up and running about 15 years now, and our 32 households (approximately 50 adults, various... Read More